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This week feels like I'm finally in Midwifery school!  We are moving into embryology in our clinical skills class and we finally started the Microbiology course.  Some of our instructors are fantastic, dynamic and truly capable of teaching the information in a way that makes sense.  Others.  Just.  I find myself being incredibly picky critical.  I realize that PhD students are not necessarily trained in how to teach. Thankfully it's fairly basic info I can study on my own and catch onto easily.

Last night I attended the Midwifery Care Club for students of nursing, midwifery and medicine from UBC.  It was just incredible!  We had the opportunity to palpate people's actual pregnant bellies, suture foam, catch doll-babies, watch a video about doulas (in which she normalized unmedicated labour), and do vaginal exams on blue boxes with cervices of various stages of dilation.  Wild.  Wild!!!  At one point another classmate and I looked at each other and we just broke into big grins :)  I pinched myself and she said, "We are really here!"  It felt very real last night.

My schedule is also starting to become very real.  Up early, out and up late.  Yay.  

Tonight my kids both have soccer practice in diferent locations and at slightly different times.  On top of that they are supposed to be at their dad's on Thursday nights (this term anyway).  I offered to make dinner.  Frozen meatloaf thawing all day , and potatoes will be put into the oven by Ms. ZZ as soon as they arrive home from school.  I'll throw together a salad when I get home.  We'll all eat, and then Shane will take Soren to one practice, I'll drop Zea and hers and Shane will pick up ZZ after.  It makes for a long night, but, that is just what being a parent is about.

I struggle, still, with my reactions to Shane's reaction to parenting duties.  His response is perfectly normal, but I still have the hyperviigillence of, "You wanna make something of it?"  Ha!  So, I offer to help out in the parenting where I can when he's got them because I don't perceive him as asking.  Anyway, no need to drop all of the soccer duties on him.  He's been really reasonable as a co-parent and he has a 99.99999 percent rate of showing up (just like me), and that, my friends, is practically everything.  

I am incredibly proud of myself and grateful to those in my life who support me.  I did this right (for me).  I waited until my kids were older and capable of dealing with a lot of their life without me needing to be there.  Call it my need to control that made me stay until they could do it themselves, perhaps.  The serendipitous and yet integral part to all of this continues to be the partnership I share with Karen.  So surprising, still.  So grateful.  So lovely.  We give where we can when we can and we put up with each others snarkiness.  It is the kind of partnership I dreamed of and expected.  

I've been doing near daily exercises for self-care as well.  In spite of this, the change in activity and the increase in sitting for loooong periods of time caused my back to spasm last Friday and it is still bothering me.  I have an RMT appt on Saturday and am hoping to be back to normal or...whatever it is that I am, by Wednesday.

I've been feeding myself really well.  Breakfast, snacks, lunch, snacks, dinner, lots of water and I'm totally compliant with meds and supplements (though I do forget my calcium magnesium regularly).  However, yesterday was a food fail as I depended on the MCC to feed me pizza and juice for dinner, but we did not get served until 9:00pm!  Way too late for me.  This coupled with the fact that my snack supply is dwindling at the end of the month (I do a big grocery shop on the 21), meant that I'd only had an apple between 11:30am and 9:00pm!  Not enough food!  I get weird when I don't eat regularly.  Today lunch pickings were low as well, so I went to the Gallery in the Sub and got a lovely beet and apple salad as well as some pasta.  Enough for two meals at least!  

Life is good.  Busy, but good.


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December 2013

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