gallimaufryma | (no subject)

Ok, it's time to take care of me:

I have eaten lunch in spite of wanting to barf. I am also forcing myself to drink a whole glass of water.

My worth is not tied up in my ability to get a loan from the bank.

I am worthy AND I did not get approved for a loan from the bank.

I am loved and lovable AND I did not get approved for a loan from the bank.

I am capable and I am doing the work to do this really huge and incredible thing called midwifery. I am doing the work to build my career.

Oh I can get into the, "but I made my bed when I was 19 and chose to have a child and when I married an alcoholic and moved 1200 miles form home and out of my country." but I must resist this. I am resisting this.

I am ok. I am. That is enough.

I am breathing. I feel my feet on the ground and my butt on the chair. I take a sustaining drink of water.
I am doing the work.

I am doing the work.

I do the work.

I work.

I am lovable and capable and drinking more water.

It is normal to feel worried and tense about money.

I have enough to eat. I have a vehicle and transit and a budget that takes care of me. I have enough money for my children's shelter and clothes and even for soccer and music lessons (which I have yet to sign them up for, but it is in the budget). I have an amazing partner. My partner is an amazing money manager and I'm amazing at following her advice. I am good with money these days. In 4 years or just over I will be a midwife and I will be making plenty of money. My life's worth is not equal to the money I make. I choose to be a midwife because I love the work AND it will support me and my family. I have enough. There is plenty.

My worth is independent of what my credit report says or my net worth.

I am worthy. Period. Period. Period.

I'm going to go for a walk (a short one) and then I do the work of studying for 103 in a new location. Perhaps outside the room to my next class. I drink water. I eat foods that fuel my body and taste delicious.

I am.

I am.