(no subject)

Classes and assignments are done for the first term of midwifery school at UBC. I'm at the point where I feel stuck and insecure. I have two finals coming up; one four days from now on Friday and one the next Tuesday. I have not started studying formally and while I know that I will, I find myself procrastinating. Or rather I find myself balancing relaxation and veg time with school work. I tend to be a bit of a pendulum swinger. Saturday Soren and I showed up at Karen's with croissants and an invitation to Science World. It was lovely and ended with a nice dinner prepared by me at Karen's. We had a sleep over at Karen's, woke and enjoyed a lovely brunch with the household. K and L and the rest. And THEN we sat 5 on the couch and watched an NFL football game. It was awesome! 

Tonight I'm going to a Lunapads circle or some such. I'm not entirely sure what it's all about, but I know it isn't school related! :)

Tuesday afternoon is our last cadaver lab. Friday morning is my clinical class test.  It's multiple choice, matching and true and false. This means all I need to do is read over the notes and the slides a number of times so the info is in my brain, but I don't have to regurgitate it. I LOVE tests where they give you the answer and all you have to do is pick out the right answer. I do fairly well on these types of tests.

I realize knowing the material inside and out is imperative to my MW practice. I will know it, but I don't have to know it perfectly now. So I can let go of perfectionism for this term and trust the process. I do have moments of being uncertain as to whether or not I will ever be a midwife; whether or not I will actually know what I need to know. I have been thinking, "Why did I think I wanted to do this? Was it really my ego?" Karen reminds me I will be good at this; oh yeah, I will....it's just the getting there.

One foot in front of the other....with lots of rest ;)  For now.